🚨🍏💥 BREAKING: COLOMBIA JUST BECAME THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE “APPLE IS SUS” CLUB! 💼💀💩 Hold onto your iPhones, fam! The land of coffee and salsa is joining the global push against that shiny fruit 🍏! That's right, as if Apple wasn't already sweating like a sinner in church, now Colombia's taking a swing at it over those App Store shenanigans! 🇨🇴💪 You know the drill: “Dude, just give us fair rules!” But Apple’s like, “Nah, fam! I’m just trying to make my stonks rise and become a trillionaire.” 💸🤡 Honestly, I’m starting to think Tim Cook is living in that "This is fine" meme house while his empire is burning down around him. 🔥💀 In an imaginary convo I totally didn’t eavesdrop on, some *leaked* Apple developer said, “At this point, let’s just charge people to breathe, we’re already charging them for apps”. 🤖💰 So, what’s next? Other countries issuing arrest warrants for Apple stickers? Maybe countries will join forces in a grand “Apple is Sus” alliance like some bizarre tech Avengers crossover! 🦸‍♂️🚀 Prediction time: Get ready for an App Store where you have to pay to unlock your own notifications. No cap. 🤯💀🔥 #AppleCrisis #ColombiaKnowsTheVibes #EpicRoast