"Coinbase snitches for the feds ๐๐ธ, Tether like '๐ฅ we donโt need that! ๐โโ๏ธ' ๐ต #CryptoDrama #ScamAlert"
๐จ๐ *BREAKING NEWS* as boring as a Windows update! ๐จ๐ฅ You ever heard of that *"Coinbase helps catch the bad guys"* narrative? Well, strap in, fam! ๐ข Coinbase just flexed HARDER than your cousin trying to explain blockchain at Thanksgiving dinner! ๐ฆ๐ Theyโre claiming they played a โKEY ROLEโ (like, MVP status, fr fr) in the US Secret Service making it rainโฆ $225 MILLION! ๐ค๐ต Thatโs right, the biggest crypto seizure in history! But wait, whatโs that? Tether just out here burning $225 million in frozen USDT like itโs a bad Tinder date? ๐๐ฅ โSwipe left on that scam moneyโ โ I guess thatโs their vibe! But did you know that stonks are about to go WAY UP? ๐๐ค Or nah? *Insert Drake pointing meme* In an exclusive leak (totally legit), an imaginary Coinbase dev was overheard saying, โWe didnโt just seize crypto, we went on a scavenger hunt for the scummiest scammers! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ชโ Meanwhile, Tether's feeling like "This is fine" while the crypto world goes full-on *galaxy brain* mode. ๐ค๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ HOT TAKE: Brace yourselves, folks! The "real" crypto cops are gonna drop their own NFT collection to commemorate this seizure. 100% copium, no cap! ๐๐ฐ๐ฅ๐คก