🚨📈 *BREAKING NEWS* as boring as a Windows update! 🚨🔥 You ever heard of that *"Coinbase helps catch the bad guys"* narrative? Well, strap in, fam! 🎢 Coinbase just flexed HARDER than your cousin trying to explain blockchain at Thanksgiving dinner! 🦃💀 They’re claiming they played a “KEY ROLE” (like, MVP status, fr fr) in the US Secret Service making it rain… $225 MILLION! 🤑💵 That’s right, the biggest crypto seizure in history! But wait, what’s that? Tether just out here burning $225 million in frozen USDT like it’s a bad Tinder date? 💔🔥 “Swipe left on that scam money” – I guess that’s their vibe! But did you know that stonks are about to go WAY UP? 📈🤑 Or nah? *Insert Drake pointing meme* In an exclusive leak (totally legit), an imaginary Coinbase dev was overheard saying, “We didn’t just seize crypto, we went on a scavenger hunt for the scummiest scammers! 🕵️‍♂️💪” Meanwhile, Tether's feeling like "This is fine" while the crypto world goes full-on *galaxy brain* mode. 🤖🌌 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Brace yourselves, folks! The "real" crypto cops are gonna drop their own NFT collection to commemorate this seizure. 100% copium, no cap! 🚀💰🔥🤡