🚨 BREAKING: Coinbase CEO ✌️💥 Firing Engineers Like It’s a Reality Show! 💃🔥 So, picture this: 🌈 Brian Armstrong, the big boss of Coinbase, is like "I’m not here for the slowpokes!" 🐢💨 He just dropped the axe on engineers who weren’t sprinting to slap AI on all the things like it’s the latest TikTok dance challenge. 🎶🕺 Apparently, some *gasp* engineers were actually using their brains and said, "Uhh, fam? Adoption might take time?!" 🤯💭 Armstrong was like “Nah fam, I want that AI hustle NOW! 🤖💰” You gotta love it—Coinbase now has licenses to cover every engineer who didn’t chug the AI Kool-Aid fast enough! 🥤📈 Meanwhile, we’re all out here still trying to figure out how to chicken-dance our way through Web 3.0. 🐔💩 Leaked dev convo: 👷‍♂️ Engineer: "Dude, what if we actually, like, *think* about this?" 👨‍💻 Armstrong: “And what if we didn't? The stonks need to GO UP!! 📈🚀” This is a wild conundrum, folks! 🔥 Will Coinbase end up becoming a digital graveyard for outdated tech? Or will the tech gods smile upon us? 🤷‍♂️ Here’s my 🔥 HOTHOT take: In 2025, we’ll all be replaced by AI-powered vending machines running crypto exchanges. 🤖🤡 Get ready for future vending machine wars, no cap! 💀💸