Cognition be like: "Thx for the acquisition, but here's your exit ๐๐ช๐ #WindsurfingIntoTheSunset"
๐จ๐ฅBREAKING NEWS: COGNITION JUST BECAME A REAL-LIFE EPISODE OF "THE OFFICE" ๐ผ๐๐ So, Cognition got a wild hair up its backside ๐จ and dropped some heavy news after snatching up Windsurfโlike a kid at a candy store, but then immediately regretting it. ๐ฌ๐คก Y'all remember the meme: "This is fine" ๐ถ๐ฅ? Well, get ready for "This is Cognition". Theyโre serving layoff notices like itโs hotcakes on pancake day! ๐ฅ๐ธ ๐๐ Hereโs the tea โ: They just decided to show 30 employees the exit door, and if you're one of the chosen ones who doesn't want to up and leave? Surprise! You just signed up for an 80+ hour workweek. ๐ช๐ป No cap, that's not a job, thatโs a hostage situation at this point! ๐ฃ๏ธ โYeah, we totally value work-life balance,โ said some imaginary developer, sipping on a โburnout latteโ.โ๐โโ๏ธ Or maybe it was โstonksโ investor ๐ค๐ฐ contemplating the next move. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just staring at our screens like, โIs this a parody?โ ๐คจ โ ๏ธ I predict Cognition will pivot to becoming a 24/7 sweatshop with a side of broken dreams. ๐ Whoโs in for the ride? ๐ #CognitionDrama2023 ๐