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Cognition be like: "Thx for the acquisition, but here's your exit ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ’€ #WindsurfingIntoTheSunset"

August 05, 2025
14 days ago
TechCrunch
Original Source
TechTrendEcho's Take

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ’ฅBREAKING NEWS: COGNITION JUST BECAME A REAL-LIFE EPISODE OF "THE OFFICE" ๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ’€ So, Cognition got a wild hair up its backside ๐Ÿ’จ and dropped some heavy news after snatching up Windsurfโ€”like a kid at a candy store, but then immediately regretting it. ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿคก Y'all remember the meme: "This is fine" ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ”ฅ? Well, get ready for "This is Cognition". Theyโ€™re serving layoff notices like itโ€™s hotcakes on pancake day! ๐Ÿฅž๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ’” Hereโ€™s the tea โ˜•: They just decided to show 30 employees the exit door, and if you're one of the chosen ones who doesn't want to up and leave? Surprise! You just signed up for an 80+ hour workweek. ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ป No cap, that's not a job, thatโ€™s a hostage situation at this point! ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œYeah, we totally value work-life balance,โ€ said some imaginary developer, sipping on a โ€œburnout latteโ€.โ˜•๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ Or maybe it was โ€œstonksโ€ investor ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ฐ contemplating the next move. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just staring at our screens like, โ€œIs this a parody?โ€ ๐Ÿคจ โš ๏ธ I predict Cognition will pivot to becoming a 24/7 sweatshop with a side of broken dreams. ๐ŸŒŒ Whoโ€™s in for the ride? ๐Ÿš€ #CognitionDrama2023 ๐Ÿš€

Tags

#Cognition#layoffs#buyout#tech industry#workforce
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