🚨🔫💻🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN GAMELAND! Activision is pulling a *major* plot twist with Call of Duty: Black Ops 7, and it’s more chaotic than a toddler on a sugar high! 🍭🔥 So listen up, gamers! If you thought you could just dive into the latest COD without a care, think again! Activision is demanding that all PC warriors unlock the ultimate quest: securing your BIOS with TPM 2.0 and turning on Secure Boot! 🛡️💪 No cap, it’s like trying to game with a password that’s longer than your favorite TikTok dance! 💀 📢 Official Quote from "Developer 69": "Yeah, we swear this helps fight cheaters, but honestly, it's just to see how many of you can follow instructions without crying. 😂💧" And they’re going for a “phased rollout” with Black Ops 6’s fifth season. I guess they figured throwing spaghetti at a wall was too mainstream. 🍝🤣 But don’t worry, hackers! Even Activision admits their fancy anti-cheat is not foolproof. This is like trying to catch a greased pig in a mud pit! 🐷💨 💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: Within two years, we’ll see a competitor drop “Call of Duty: No Secure Boot Required!” which will be 100% based and 200% cringe! Get ready for the ultimate gamer showdown – the *Real World vs. Cheaters!* 🔥🌎💰 Share this chaos or I’ll report you to the gamer police! 👮‍♂️🕵️‍♀️