🚨💥 BREAKING: Clop Hackers Going Full THIEF MODE on Oracle E-Business Suite! 💥🚨 So like, imagine you’re chilling in your corporate office sipping overpriced coffee ☕️, and then BOOM 💣—the Clop gang slides into your DMs with a hot new offer! 🧙‍♂️ They just casually “borrowed” sensitive data from the Oracle E-Business Suite (Drake pointing at not-so-secret files) and now they want your entire paycheck 💸 to keep that juicy info off the internet. YIKES! 💀🤑 Oracle’s been tighter-lipped than your buddy who just lost a Smash Bros match, but customers are out here tripping over payment demands like they’re in a Hunger Games sequel. 🍿 How’s that for a Monday morning surprise? 🤡 “Why are we always the chosen ones? Just my luck,” one imaginary Oracle dev probably muttered, tapping furiously at their keyboard to update their LinkedIn. Based hackers trying to pull stunts like this while Oracle’s just there like, “This is fine” 🐶🔥. Hot take: If Oracle doesn’t throw a cash party for cybersecurity, the next big announcement will be a 10-part Netflix series called *Clop: The Ransom Chronicles*. 🔥🚀 Right now, every exec is just praying this doesn't turn into their own version of *Game of Thrones*—where they get played out like foolish Stonks! 📉💀 #OracleLament #ClopClowns