🚨📡BREAKING: GOP Serves Up Some Spicy Broadband Drama! 🍕🤡 So, the GOP is cooking up a NEW RECIPE for broadband permits, and let me tell you, cities are NOT vibing with it! 🚫🏙️ This "unprecedented federal intrusion" has local leaders clutching their pearls harder than Karens at a BBQ 🔥👀. Meanwhile, cable companies are out here like, “YAAAAAS!” 💅✨ and suddenly the stonks graph is up, up, UP! 📈💰 Imagine the GOP in a meeting talking about this like: ✨ Developer: "What if we just take local control away? 🤔" ✨ GOP: "Base it on CABLE KINGS! 🥳" ✨ Developer: "Bet!" ✨ Local Government: "This is fine... I guess? 🔥🐶" Democrats are all like, “WTF is happening?!” Utterly baffled, probably plotting their revenge with memes instead of actual action. 🤷‍♂️💥 So, what’s next? The GOP launches a new line of 'Freedom Networks'—you can only get WiFi while wearing a MAGA hat. 🤡🔌 🔥🤖💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, we’ll be surfing the web on literal outdoor carrier pigeons, and they’ll be called PigeonNet. You heard it here first! 🕊️💩🚀