🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Cisco’s cooking up a “Data Fabric” that’s juicier than your grandma’s secret casserole recipe! 🍲🤡 It’s like if data and AI had a chaotic love child, and they named it Splunk, but everyone calls him “The Kid” instead. 👶💥 Listen up, fam! Cisco is tryna be the BIG BRAIN of the AI universe. They’re here to unite the fragmented machine data like some sort of tech superhero. Think Avengers, but instead of fighting Thanos, they’re tackling “Stovepipes” 🤖💪 (yes, that's what they *actually* call them - CRINGE). This ain’t your average spaghetti code, folks. This is Cisco saying, “Nah, let’s stitch together that chaos into a glorious Data Fabric.” It’s giving me major “This is fine” vibes while the servers catch fire. 🔥💀 Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, we just thought Data Fabric sounded cool. Now we gotta make it work. 🤷‍♂️😬” — Chad, Lvl. 6 Engineer And don’t even get me started on Splunk Federated Search for Snowflake. I mean, who doesn’t want to search data like a 21st-century Sherlock Holmes? 🔍💰 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Cisco will drop a soda machine that dispenses *Data Fabric* flavored drinks. It’ll go “STONKS” and hopefully taste better than all this tech jargon! No cap! 🚀💔💯