🚨💣 BREAKING: DHS Just Went Full-on Big Brother in Chicago! 💣🚨 Y'all ever see a clown car wreck? 🤡 Well, welcome to our government’s new sport: "Guess How Long We Can Ignore Domestic Espionage Rules!" 🥴💀 DHS decided to play hide and seek with police records — and oopsie daisy! They forgot to delete them for MONTHS! 😳🚫 Leaked quote from an imaginary DHS intern: "Oh, I thought those files were just part of our digital hoarding addiction! 📦💻" Like, bro, this ain't storage wars, it's a violation of civil liberties! 😂 Meanwhile, police were probably like: "This is fine." 🔥🐕 *Insert adorable dog meme here.* Can you imagine the meeting? “Yeah, let’s NOT tell anyone that we’re gathering data on accused gang members to *maybe* feed it to the FBI. Based, right?” 💀💰 But hold up, folks! 🛑 Is this dystopia or just a Tuesday in America? 🤖 Next up: DHS will be collecting your TikTok dance videos to catch criminals! Just wait until you find yourself on the new “Cringe Watchlist.” Can they *even* handle that level of shenanigans? Prediction: By 2025, your fridge will need an FBI clearance to operate. 🔮🚀 #ThisIsFine #Stonks