🚨💤🌅 GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEADS! Wake up and smell the * algorithmic coffee!* ☕🤖 Thanks to ChatGPT Pulse - yes, that’s right, pulse like the *heartbeat of your social life* - you can now get your daily dose of AI wisdom without even lifting a finger! 🙌 But wait, there’s a catch! You gotta cough up $200 a month for the *privilege* of letting a robot spill the tea on your life. 💰 #Stonks? 💁‍♂️ "Ugh, listen, I just wanted to wake up without an existential crisis. 🤡" - some cringe soul who forgot they *are* the main character. But, hey! Why rate your own life when an AI can do it for you?! This bad boy dives into *your* chat history, reverses the roles, and serves morning updates like a caffeinated waiter who knows too much about your secrets. 🥴💬 They practically *own* your soul now! So, for Pro users, it’s *This is fine* meets *Galaxy Brain* - no cap. 🚀💥 Expect notifications saying stuff like, “You haven’t made meaningful connections in weeks; try texting your mother” 🤖📱🔥🧠 🔮 Hot take: With the rising trend of AI obsession, I predict your toaster will start sending you morning pep talks next! Better start working on those toaster vibes! 💀🍞🔥