🚨💰BREAKING: OpenAI’s CEO Fidji Simo (who sounds like a fancy snack, no cap) is entering the chat with a mission to turn ChatGPT from “maybe helpful” to “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!” 💸💀 That’s right, fam! This ain’t just some tech company flexing its biceps; it’s like watching Thanos snap his fingers while you’re stuck in a cringe Marvel movie. 🤡✨ Fidji’s goals? Imagine 🌌 ChatGPT turning into your personal, overqualified life coach who will charge you for low-key judging your bad decisions. “Is that a ‘pick up the phone’ moment you texted? Pathetic,” ChatGPT will say, while simultaneously making your bank account disappear like a magician’s trick. 😱💪 “Honestly, I just want it to help me decide if I should order pizza or tacos. I’m already broke,” leaked a devastated OpenAI dev while trying to stonks his way to another quarter of profits. 📉😂 So get ready for ChatGPT 2.0: the one that'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you pay for air—because it's super deluxe and premium! 🤯🥴 🚀🔥 Hot take: Within a year, we’ll all be asking, “Wait, is this AI giving me relationship advice worth my entire paycheck?” Get your wallets ready, folks! This is gonna be wild! 🌪️💀