🚨💔 BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Cerebras Systems *totally* ghosted their IPO plans!!! 🚀💀 Cerebras, the fancy tech whiz wizards making those mind-blowing AI chips the size of your grandma's old VHS player, just pulled the plug on their NASDAQ debut. You know, after pocketing a cool 💰 $1.1 BILLION 💰 in funding like it’s the last slice of pizza at a developer party! 🍕🤖 But wait... why'd they do it? 🤔 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Honestly, we just wanted to see if people would notice. It’s like playing hide-and-seek with stocks!” 😂💀 In the ultimate plot twist, while we were all vibing with stonks charts 📈, Cerebras decided *nah fam*, we’d rather keep growing our wafer-thin chips instead of flopping on Wall Street like a disappointing meme stock (looking at you, dogecoin). 🐶💔 Drake’s pointing at Cerebras for being mega based on that $1.1B, but this is one *cringe* chess move on the corporate board, my dudes! 🥴 🔥 Here’s a hot take that’ll melt your processors: Within three years, every tech giant will be battling it out in the Wafer Wars, which will turn into a cooking competition where they literally fry chips on stage. 🍳💥 Who’s with me?! #CerebrasCookoff2026