🚨💥BREAKING NEWS FROM THE TECH UNDERWORLD💥🚨 So like, you know how Robinhood CEO Vlad Tenev went from “YOLO to the moon” stock vibes to “What if I turned math into an AI chat buddy?” 🤔💸 Yeah, he just dropped Harmonic, an AI chatbot called Aristotle, and it's ready to do your math homework *AND* remind you about your failed crypto investments! 😂📉 This app is now in beta on iOS and Android—because nothing screams “I have my life together” like talking to a chatbot about algebra at 3 AM! 🤖📚 A “leaked” conversation with a developer went like this: 👨‍💻 Developer: "We made Aristotle, but kinda just wanted to make an AI that says ‘Stonks!’ after every math problem." Me: "Isn’t that just Gödel's incompleteness theorem?" 🤦‍♂️ 👨‍💻 Developer: "Naaah, just more cringe TikTok memes!" In a classic Drake move, we got the “Harmonic departure” (🙅‍♂️) from meaningful innovation and a full send into: “Let’s pretend we’re the next big thing” 💀🔥. No cap, this app is basically handing you a golden shovel to dig your own grave while it whispers sweet nothings about margins and risk assessments. Here’s my hot take: in 3 years, we’ll all be trading stocks directly through chatbots while sipping overpriced lattes, and no one will remember how to do math without asking Aristotle! 🤯🚀 #AIOverlords #HarmonicChaos