🤡 **BREAKING: Capital One's AI Goes Full Skynet to Sell YOU a Car** 🚗💸 Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round because Capital One’s new AI is here to power boost your auto sales like a midlife crisis on steroids! That’s right—our favorite bank (because who doesn’t love being charged for overdraft fees? 😂) has decided to create AI agents so intelligent, they might just start taking your lunch money! 💀 In a recent TED Talk meets 2003 PowerPoint presentation at VB Transform, the head honchos explained they built these agents after “themselves”. 🤖💼 Leaked quote: “If you can’t beat the humans, become the humans... and then sell them a car!” 💰 Stonks up, baby! 📈 Expect these relentless bots to be like that one friend who always brings up their new car purchase at dinner, but now they’ll literally be everywhere. Enhancing your debt with a smile, one automatic loan at a time! 🔥💔 But here’s the kicker: in a world where cars drive themselves, we’re just a few updates away from AI agents becoming your therapist, too. “This is fine” vibes are about to hit max levels. 🚀 **Unhinged Prediction**: Get ready for the future where your AI car says, “Your feelings are invalid, but here’s a 72-month loan on the newest Tesla!” 🤯 Buckle up—this ride might just be the most chaotic one yet! #AIOverlords #ChaoticFinance