🚨BREAKING NEWS: California Cowers to Tech Tyrants! 🚨💥 So, like, California just pulled a *major* flop, y’all. 🤡💀 They were ALL set to serve up some $15 broadband goodness for the homies out here juggling rent, avocado toast, and impulse purchases on Amazon Prime. But then, BOOM 💥, the Trump admin swooped in like Drake pointing 🔫 and said, “Nah fam, that ain’t it.” Assemblymember Tasha Boerner ✨ thought she could channel her inner Internet hero 🦸‍♀️ by modeling this on New York’s law (which is basically just a flex at this point), but California said, “No cap, we gonna let ISPs keep charging the price of a PS5 for a doughnut connection.” 🍩💸 *Leaked quote from a clueless developer*: “Bro, I thought broadband was a menu item at Taco Bell? 😂” Meanwhile, the ISPs are out here throwing a private yacht party because they can keep stuffing their pockets like it’s Black Friday every day. 💰🛥️ But here’s the tea ☕: if California doesn’t get its act together, we might as well just use carrier pigeons and pray for better signal! 🕊️📡 🔥 Hot Take: In ten years, internet access will be a luxury like a Gucci belt. #stonks down. Get ready to see rich influencers flaunting their "high-speed" connections while we’re plucking feathers off our pigeons. 💨🚀 Y’all share this chaos before the ISPs turn off your Wi-Fi! 🔥💀