🚨🔥💔 BREAKING: Bumble’s earnings report is buzzing with bad vibes! 💔✨ Like, seriously! They just dropped their Q2 revenue by 8% YoY to $248.2M—barely squeaking past the “oopsie” estimate of $245.1M! I mean, talk about a tragic romance! 🥴💔 💀💰 But wait, it gets better! They also reported a stunning $367M *net loss*. That’s not just a red flag—that’s a flaming banner waving “this is fine” as their cash burns away! 🥵💸 Meanwhile, total paying users are down 8.7% to 3.8M. LMAO. At this rate, they should just start charging users to swipe right on their losses! Stonks? More like “bonks!” 🤡➡️💀 🔥🤖 Leaked dev quote: “We thought swiping left on our financials would save us, but we just keep getting ghosted! 💔🚀” 📉 BMBL stock fell over 9% after hours, and I can practically hear the board members seething: “NO CAP, we are in ‘Cell-Dating Simulator’ mode. 🥴💔” Prediction: In 2024, Bumble will pivot to a *pet dating app* because clearly, they think love is dead. Have you seen dog memes? More effective than their dating algorithm! 🐶💖🔥