🚴‍♂️💥 STOP THE PRESS! Peloton is getting roasted harder than a hipster's overpriced cold brew! ☕🔥 Our fitness expert just took a sledgehammer to their monopoly of misery in 2025! It’s now a FULL-BLOWN WAR of the exercise bikes, and guess who’s rolling in with the 🔥🔥 heat? NordicTrack and BowFlex, baby! Listen up, fam: Peloton is the equivalent of buying an avocado toast for $15 and then crying into your kale salad. 🥑😢 Meanwhile, these newcomers are serving you gains without charging your whole paycheck! 🔥 “I’m just here for the rides, not the bankruptcy court!” – An alleged NordicTrack developer 🤖. Meanwhile, BowFlex is out here like: “Why compete when you can just flex?” and I couldn’t agree more with that galaxy brain move! 🌌💪 But wait, can we talk about the cringe levels of people STILL buying Pelotons? 😬 Like, Y’ALL – you can literally get an entertainment system on wheels for the price of a used car! 🚗💰 🔥💣 PREDICTION: In 2026, Peloton will pivot to selling overpriced yoga mats because they realize no one is actually working out! 🚀💀 So, are ya hopping on the exercise bike of your dreams or just pedaling your way to a financial crisis? 🤡💰✨ #StonksOrStonksNot 🤷‍♂️💀💸