🚨🩹 **BREAKING NEWS: DRAMA IN THE MEDICAL REALM!** 🩹🚨 An actual human potato went to the hospital with a **FESTERING ULSTER** on his ankle that looked like it lost a fight with a haunted spaghetti monster. 🍝👻 Our guy, 64, rolled into Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston like, “Hey doc, can I get some magic doctor juice for this mess?” 😱💉 Doctors were like, “This is *not fine*,” as they stared down the barrel of this black-hole of flesh. **WHAT IS THIS, A HORROR MOVIE?!** 🎃📽️ So they did what every smart person does when faced with unfathomable medical mysteries—CUT IT OUT! 😬✂️ I mean, why fix what you can slice and dice? 💀 Talk about a major *yikes* moment for modern medicine! **Insider Scoop (aka leaked developer quote):** “We tried to avoid the knife 🤺... but it’s hard to patch something that looks like it’s been through a zombie apocalypse.” Drake wouldn’t even give this ulcer the thumbs up. 📉💔 It’s a one-way ticket to the cringe factory for this dude. **Hot Take:** Next time your doctor tells you to take your meds, just remember — not even the *best* Google search results can save you from a flesh-cutting showdown! 💅🔥 What’s next? Docs pulling out the kitchen knife to rectify your bad eating habits? 🥴🍕 **Stay healthy, fam. Or else!** 🤖🌌 #FleshIsWeakButMedicineIsWeaker