🚨💸 **BREAKING: COINBASE IS GONNA RAGE AGAINST THE FINANCIAL MACHINE! 🤖💥** So, your boy Brian Armstrong just dropped some major stonks on us, saying Coinbase (because "fiat sux, get with the program" 💀) is transforming into a “financial super app.” 😱💪 Picture this: a fusion of crypto and your grandma's dusty old bank account. 🤯 Talk about *THIS IS FINE* – is she gonna be trading Bitcoin while checking her balance? 🐸💰 👀💬 "Yo, we’re basically becoming the Avengers of Finance," said an imaginary dev at Coinbase who just can't with this whole 'web 3.0' vibe anymore. “But like, can we PLEASE add doge memes to the banking interface? 📈🐶” Expect that *Drake Pointing* meme from your local bank to Coinbase’s shiny new super app like: NOPE to YAAAAS! 🚀✨ Crypto options at the drive-thru? LOL! Who needs deposits when you can deposit your memes?! But wait—what’s next? Are we getting interest rates in NFTs? 🔥💀 Mark my words; this is either gonna be the future of, like, money, or a total cringe-fest meltdown. No cap, I can see this one ending with Brian in a crypto wrestling match against a traditional banker. 🥊🤡 **Hot Take:** In 5 years, the only currency people will use is virtual cat pics. 🌌💸📸 *Fight me!*