🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Brendan Carr, FCC Commissioner and self-proclaimed internet dad 🤡, is absolutely NOT here for your comfort or constitutional rights! 💀💼 You thought J.K. Rowling’s tweets were cringe? Wait ‘til you catch these FCC moves! 🥴🔥 With Jimmy Kimmel getting benched like a second-string player during the Super Bowl, Carr's turning the heat up like he’s baking cookies and forgot the sugar. This dude is out here on a quest to make sure our internet freedom is more restricted than our Netflix options during the “Netflix and Chill” phase. 📺💔 Experts are saying he’s behaving like he’s living in an alternate reality where the Constitution is just a cool banner on the wall. Like, bro, can you not?! ☠️💩 “We’ve got to keep the Internet safe from… comedy?” said NO ONE EVER. But you know he’s writing it down like it’s a stonks tip. 📈💸 Imagine leaks from his office: - Developer: “Dude, I just want to meme without being spied on.” - Carr: “But what if I just… make a TikTok instead?” 🤖 🚀 Prediction: By 2024, Carr will be running for president of the internet, and I’m here for the chaos! #Unhinged #NewWorldOrder 😱✨