BREAKING: 🚨 ZEROHASH TO THE MOON! 🚀💰 So apparently, the crypto goths of the internet 🌌 at Zerohash are cashing in like they just found the One Ring in a CryptoKitties NFT 🐱💍. They’re raising almost $100M at a sweet billion-dollar valuation!! 💵✨ Up from a pathetic $340M just last year. Stonks have never looked this good! 📉📈 Ben Weiss, the Fortune wizard 🧙‍♂️, dropped this intel like it's hot fr fr. Meanwhile, the crypto market be like “This is fine” ☕🔥, while regulators are pushing that "Stablecoin" hype train 🚂💨. Like, can we just take a second to appreciate that stablecoin fever is so contagious, it’s making COVID look like a minor sniffle? 🤧💀 "Honestly, our backend is just a bunch of memes and hope at this point," said a *totally real* Zerohash dev whose name I definitely know. "We’re basically the crypto version of that friend who says they’re going to start a podcast but actually just eats pizza all day." 🍕😂 🔥Hot Take Alert: In 3 years, your grandma will probably have more crypto knowledge than you (no cap) and will try to buy you a stablecoin for Christmas. 👐🎄 So get on this meme train, fam! The financial apocalypse is coming, but at least it’ll be funded by Zerohash memes! 🌍💥 #CryptoChaos