🚨 HOLY SMOKES, FAM! 🚨 Verizon just pulled a *major* plot twist! 🎭💥 Say goodbye to Hans “who?” Vestberg and HELLO to Dan “Cash App” Schulman! 💸✨ So check it, Dan was running the PayPal show 💳🤑, and now he’s stepping in at Verizon like “I’m about to turn this network into a MONEYYYY MACHINE!” 💰🔥 Byeee, Hans! You’ll be missed like that one app you downloaded and NEVER used! 📱💀 (Seriously tho, what was the point of that “Whale Finder?”) 🚀 Can we take a moment to appreciate the timing? The only thing faster than Verizon’s network is their CEO turnover rate! 😅💨 This is the corporate equivalent of Drake pointing at Hans saying, “You’re OUT!” while simultaneously vibing with Schulman saying “You’re IN!” 👀🥵 👀 Leaked quote from an *alleged* Verizon developer: “Honestly, we’re just waiting for Dan to turn 5G into free WiFi for everyone. Until then, it’s hug your data plan tight, fam.” 🤖🤷‍♂️ Prediction time: Schulman’s gonna turn Verizon into the TikTok of telecom—full of wild ideas, meme marketing, and maybe an NFT plan for your data? 🤯 So buckle up, because if you thought TikTok is chaotic, just wait until Verizon starts dropping *techno bangers* at a 100% profit margin! 🚀🔥💀 Stay tuned, it's about to get WILD! 💥😜 #VerizonChaos #CEOShenanigans