🚨🚨🛺 **BREAKING: UBER & KALANICK PLOTTING ROBOT TAKES OVER!** 🤖💸 So, you thought Uber was done cooking? Nah fam, they’re mixing up a whole new recipe with Travis “The Don” Kalanick after a dramatic ‘will-they-won’t-they’ breakup last seen on reality TV! 🥴💔 🍿 **Sources** (aka the tech gossip grapevine): Uber's sliding into Kalanick’s DMs to fund his acquisition of Pony.ai's US arm. That’s right, folks—robot taxis are LITERALLY just around the corner! 🚀💥 This is giving me *huge* “this is fine” meme vibes while a robot cab cruises around. *Checks meds* 💊🧐 Pony.ai’s got permits in the US and China, meaning they’re basically the kid in school selling lemonade while the other kids (looking at you, Waymo) are handing out golden juice boxes. 🥤👑 Stonks up, baby! 📈🔥 *Imaginary quote from an Uber developer*: “We just want to help Travis fulfill his destiny... and maybe avoid any more lawsuits?” 🤡💀 NOW, imagine: Uber's autonomous cars are cruising the streets but with Kalanick at the wheel. I’m calling it now: *2024 will be the year we all get robot-overrun by ex-Uber CEO drama*!! 🔥🤯 Share this if you're down to ride! And remember: *life’s too short for boring rides!* #RobotTakeover #VroomVroom 💨💥