🚨💥 BREAKING NERD ALERT: The Trump admin is hitting the chips like a Kardashian on the latest trend! 🍟💰💥 Sources say they want chipmakers to play a spooky game of “match the imports” like it’s couples therapy or something. 1:1 ratio? More like *1 cringe* to *1 cope*—just add tariffs when they drop the ball. 🥴🤡 Picture this: CEOs sweating like they just accidentally opened their manager’s 20,000 unread emails. 📧💀 One whistleblower, who definitely wants to remain anonymous (let’s call him “Chip D. O. Future”), said: “If I have to match imports like my 5-year-old matches socks, we’re all doomed!” 😂🧦 And can we talk about how this is literally a game of stonks but for chips? 💹🤖 Meanwhile, startup bros are like “This is fine” while sipping overpriced avocado toast at their local park. 🥑🌳 But yo, here’s the real tea: if they actually think they can make American chips more popular than TikTok dances—fr fr—they might need to consult some galaxy brain economists or just get bent. 🚀💥🔥 So here's what I predict: in 12 months, “Chip Town USA” will either be a reality show or a meme-splosion. #Chipocalypse Now! Who's with me?! 😎🔥💀✨