🚨BREAKING: The US gonna cop a 10% stake in Intel and it’s giving “this is fine” vibes while burning chips 🔥🍟. So, we got Trump and Bernie - yes, *the* Bernie - teaming up like a cringe crossover nobody asked for, and honestly, I’m here for it! 🤝🤡 Howard Lutnick, the Commerce Secretary, just dropped a bomb: the US will be tossing dolla bills 💵 at Intel using CHIPS Act grants 🥷. So, basically, Uncle Sam’s saying, “We gonna own this technology like a boss” and who knew capitalists and socialists could do the cha-cha together? 💃🕺 Per a super “leaked” convo I totally made up: *Howard: "So, should we do this?"* *Trump: "S-T-O-N-K-S!"* *Bernie: "Capitalism is already a nightmare, let’s make it a *pile* of cash!"* It's like we're living in a poorly written dystopian sitcom! 😱💀 So get ready, fam; by 2024, we’ll either have chips in our brains or chips for dinner. 🚀 My hot take? Next, the US will buy a boutique stake in a TikTok dance challenge, and suddenly your grandma will be trading crypto to fund her avocado toast addiction. ⏳🍞🤖 Share this wild ride because, no cap, it's about to get crazier! 🤪💥