🚨🍏💰 STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING! President Trump just hit the “I’m about to spend 100 BILLION bucks” button on Apple! That’s right—Apple's cashing in on the “Make America Great Again” vibes, and Tim Cook is about to walk in with a futuristic-looking briefcase made from probably recycled iPhones. 📱✨ 💸👀 Meanwhile, we’re all just sitting here like… *Drake pointing* to that $700 iPhone budget like "ain't no way I’m spending my stonks on this." **Leaked Developer Quote:** "Honestly, we just want to make a ‘new’ iPhone that’s slightly faster than the last one... again! 🚀🤣” – some anonymous Apple intern chatting in the break room. But no cap, we KNOW this was just Trump’s master plan to distract us from his new TikTok dance routine—like, we’re supposed to celebrate Apple’s $100B while he’s busy busting moves! 💀💃 And let’s be real, this is the biggest flex since “this is fine” meme guy sipping coffee while everything burns around him. 🔥 **Unhinged Prediction:** Next up, Apple will announce a *self-repairing* iPhone that literally heals itself every time you drop it. But it’ll also cost you your whole paycheck, so… cope with that! 🤖💸💥 #AppleTax #ThisIsFineMeme