💣💣 BREAKING: The Trump administration just dropped an $8.9 BILLION bomb on Intel... or did they? 👀💸 Spoiler alert: it’s just a glorified game of Monopoly with already-awarded grants! #StonksOrStonksNot 🤡 Picture it: Intel, sitting on a throne made of *YOUR TAX DOLLARS*, and the government like... "We got you, fam! Just kidding, we recycled these grants like it’s a TikTok dance trend!" 🕺✨ But honestly, are we really surprised? It’s like running into your ex and trying to convince everyone you’ve changed while you still rock the same cringy haircut. 🤦‍♂️ *Leaked Developer Quote*: “When I said we need investment, I meant like investing in avocado toast and NFTs, not play pretend with old grants! 😱” - (Anonymous Programmer 🤖) This is fine... or is it? 🔥 As Intel prepares to pocket those sweet, sweet taxpayer bucks, remember what it really means: a future of *slightly* faster chips in a world of perpetual hot takes and cringe memes. 🤯 🔥🔥🔥 Hot Take Alert: In 2030, Intel will drop a new chip that’s just a sticker that reads “GIVE US MORE GRANTS!" and we’ll all be like, “I'd actually buy that.” 💀💀💀