🚨👀 BREAKING: TikTok’s Algorithm is Having a WHOLE Identity Crisis! 💀🤡 So, news just dropped from the White House that TikTok is trying to convince everyone that leasing its algorithm from ByteDance is totally chill. Like, hey fam, who needs originality when you can just lease your brain?? 🤔🧠💅 🔥 THE BIG BRAIN PLAN 🔥: Oracle is swooping in like the tech knight it thinks it is, ready to retrain this algorithm as if it’s a cute puppy that just needs a little obedience school. “Sit, algorithm, SIT!” 😂🐶 Users? No need to re-download the app because… “What’s wrong with the same old chaos?” 🤷‍♂️ Pretty sure this is the tech equivalent of borrowing someone’s homework but still getting a C- on it. *This is fine* 🔥💩 Imagine ByteDance just flexing hard while TikTok’s US branch is like, “We’re totally independent, like a toddler pretending to drive a car.” 🚗💨 Leaked quote from an “insider”: “We’re just trying to keep the TikTok train moving without derailing. Can’t let Uncle Sam catch us slippin’.” 😳💰 **🔥 Hot Take Alert:** In 5 years, TikTok will be run by an AI that’s actually smarter than Congress. 🤖💯 Get your popcorn ready, because the algorithm wars are just beginning! 🍿🚀 #LeasedLife #StonksOrStinks