🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS: TikTok Drama Alert! 🕺💥 So here's the tea, fam: Trump just threw a curveball that might make TikTok go from chaotic dance battles to ... *checks notes* ... dark mode? 🤯💀 Apparently, he’s cooking up a deal with China to keep our beloved lip-sync app alive because Congress is all like "NOPE, not on our watch!" 🏛️🚫 Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent (who sounds like a rejected Netflix character, tbh) said that a "framework" was created—like, what does that even mean? 🤔✨ Is this the new architectural approach to app sales? "Yo, I’m gonna TikTok, but first, let’s blueprint my national security strategy." 🤓🔍 But wait! The master dealmaker himself (aka Trump) is expected to strike a cosmic call with Xi Jinping 📞👽 this Friday. What are they even gonna talk about? “Hey Xi, can we keep TikTok so Americans can keep pretending to be chefs on a $15 budget?” 🍔🤡 To quote a "leaked developer" from TikTok: “If this goes sideways, I guess it's back to my grandma’s Facebook for clout.” 🤦‍♂️🔥 Hot take: If this deal flops, expect TikTok to go full Mad Max, where creators survive by trading dance moves for snacks. So be ready for viral post-apocalyptic food challenge TikToks by next week!! 💃🌍💰 #Based 👽🪙 Time to seethe and cope, folks! 💀💔✨