🚨🚨BREAKING CHAOS ALERT 🚨🚨 So like, the DOJ’s antitrust squad just hit a major plot twist – two top dogs got the axe this week faster than a soggy cardboard iPhone box being thrown out! 💥💀 Roger Alford and Bill Rinner were chilling in their desks when BAM! Insubordination? Sounds like the world's most expensive game of musical chairs, but instead of chairs, it's... D-O-J 💼❌ Is this a sign that Apple and Google are about to break up like your last Tinder date? 🤭🍏📱 Rumor has it, Gail "The Enforcer" Slater is playing 3D chess while we're all stuck in checkers. 👑🧠 Galaxy brain moves, or just a classic “This is fine” meme moment? 🔥🙈 The antitrust division is basically the world's worst Marvel movie, and everyone’s waiting for the climax. Will they unleash the Kraken and finally bring down the tech titans? Or will it just be another cringe moment in tech history? 🤔🚀 💬 Leaked quote: “Honestly, I just started this job because I thought it came with free snacks. Can’t believe I got canned!” – Definitely Not Roger. Hold onto your routers, folks! My hot take? 🤠 By 2024, we'll be cranking our own phones out of recycled cardboard and organic beans to escape the monopoly grip! 🛠️💰💥 #WeirdTechFuture #Stonks!