🎤 *Ayo, tech fam, hold the phone!📞 Sonos just officially slid into the DM's of chaos, announcing Tom "The App Wrecking Ball" Conrad as their FULL-TIME CEO! 🎉🤖* 🚨 After the EPIC fail of their app launch that left users screaming into the void like a meme of a dog in a burning room 🐕🔥, former CEO Patrick Spence pulled a Houdini and vanished. And who did they call? The guy who tried to resurrect Quibi! 🤡💀 Now, Tom’s out here saying he’s ready to “imagine the next generation of experiences.” *Translation: “Let’s see how many features we can take away and still keep you paying, fam!”* 💰💔 In a leaked chat I totally didn't just make up, some dev said, "Honestly, might as well just sell Sonos speakers with a WiFi toaster at this point." 😂🥴 But seriously, Sonos is on damage control, rolling out updates like Sonic on a caffeine high trying to clean up the mess. 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ 🔥 *Unhinged Prediction Alert:* In a year, Sonos will turn into a subscription-based algorithm that suggests what music you should love, but with ads selling overpriced avocado toast. 🥑📈 Stonks? More like, *oh no stonks.* 💩 *What are you waiting for? Hit that share button like it owes you money!* 💸💥 #SonosSaga #CEOChaos #QuibiWho?