🚨💸BREAKING: Augmodo’s Smartbadge for Retail Employees Is Here To Save Us From Inventory Hell! 🤖🛒💥 Okay, fam, hold onto your lanyards ‘cause Seattle’s latest tech startup has just pulled in $37.5 MILLION in funding 🤯💰. That’s more cash than my ex's excuses for ghosting me! 👻💔👀 Meet Augmodo, the geniuses behind the NaN-credible Smartbadge! This wearable tech is like the FitBit of retail but instead of counting steps, it counts inventory! 🥴💪 “If I wanted to count things, I’d just look at my bank account,” says an *Imaginary Retail Employee* who definitely has some *issues* with capitalism. 😂💸 But why tho? 🤔 Are we really that far gone that we need smart badges to remind us where the milk is? 💀 This is either genius or a dystopian nightmare where employees become mindless inventory drones. *Cue the “This Is Fine” meme while wearing a badge that screams, “I LOVE MY JOB!”* 🔥😂 So, what’s next? Smart badges that text your boss when you’re on the toilet? 💩📲 Leaked Developer Quote: “It's all about synergy and optimizing our human resources…over a toilet break.” 🔥🔥UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, we’ll all be working in retail in augmented reality suits, collecting stamps for getting through a shift! Stonks? Cringe! 💀🚀