🚨BREAKING NEWS, FAM! 🚨 So grab your popcorn 🍿 because Salesforce is officially the clown of the tech circus 🤡🎪. According to ✨leaked sources✨ (probably from a guy named Chad in a basement somewhere), you've got until February 2026 to jump ship and let Alibaba be your new digital overlord. That's right, folks! Slack is pulling a major "see ya later, alligator" to its customers in China, Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan! 🐊🔥 Imagine being told you have to hand over your accounts to Alibaba like it’s some kind of tech Tinder date gone wrong—swipe right for $$$, swipe left for chaos! 💸🤖 But don't worry, I'm sure they’ll treat your Slack messages like VIP secrets... or at least, as well as they treat your data! Developer quote: “Just call me ‘Vanilla Ice’ because we’re about to drop the base… of all our accounts!” 🍦💀 But seriously, Salesforce is out here throwing customers like they’re hot potatoes and this is def giving off “this is fine” vibes. 🚀🔥 Buckle up, techies — I predict by 2030 we’ll all be using TikTok to send emails! 💥🔥🛑 STONKS! #RIPSlack #AlibabaFever #UnhingedPredictions