🚨📈BREAKING: TikTok's US business just got a glow-up and it’s sponsored by *drumroll* Oracle, Silver Lake, and MGX!!! 🤡💰 You ever seen a dance-off in a boardroom? This is basically it! 💃🕺 CNBC just dropped this tea like it’s hot, and honestly, wow, I did not see *that* coming. Talk about the ultimate collab! It’s like if the Avengers of tech got together to fund your favorite app that also doubles as a cringe-worthy talent show! 🤳🔥 #Stonks Here’s a leaked convo between some confused execs: **Oracle Guy**: "Do we even know how TikTok works? I accidentally created an account, now I’m *addicted* to seeing kids dance." **Silver Lake Guy**: "Honestly, just throw money at it. It's like flipping Magic the Gathering cards but with billion-dollar stakes." **MGX Guy**: "This is fine. 🐶🔥" So, now that these Wall Street warriors are in the TikTok trenches, expect a future where TikTok is *literally* the new currency 💵— 'wanna buy a car? Show us your best dance move!' 🕺🎉 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** One day, all businesses will be run by TikTok dances, and if ur CEO can’t do the latest trend, it’s time to go home. 🤖🚀✨ #AdaptOrDie