🚨💰BREAKING: Goldman Sachs just made a move that’ll have folks yelling “STONKS!” louder than a toddler at a candy store! 🍭💸 In a twist that could only be matched by a Netflix thriller, they’re scooping up Industry Ventures for a cool $665M in a classic cash-and-equity shake-up that smells like desperation in the world of investments. 🤡💀 💔😳 So what’s the deal here? Industry Ventures is packing $7B AUM (that’s Assets Under Management, for my non-finance fam) 🤑. But honestly, isn’t this just a classic Netflix series where the old guard is like, “Let’s buy the young bloods and make this office party at least a little spicy”? Meanwhile, Industry Ventures is probably sipping their morning coffee like: “This is fine. We’ll take the $300M for performance, that’s just our training wheels!” 🚀🔥 🔍💬 In a leaked chat, one Goldman Sachs developer said, “I guess we’re just gonna put this on our balance sheet and hope for the best, right?” While another quipped, “Yeah, just like my last Tinder date!” 🤣 Prediction time! In 2025, Goldman will drop the Industry Ventures name and rename it “Goldman’s Good Vibes Only” where every meeting is just Zoom calls about TikTok trends and NFTs! 😱💀✨ This is finance now, folks! Get ready to seethe, cry, and laugh!