🚨🚨 Hold onto your overpriced coffee mugs, fam! 🍏📱 The Apple Watch 11 is dropping like it's hot, and guess what? The new hypertension alerts are *also* tagging along for the ride on older models! Y’all ever heard of Shocktober? 'Cause this news is giving me major shock vibes! 😱💥 Picture this: You’re chilling, living your best life, and BOOM! Your wrist starts vibrating like it’s trying to summon the Ghost of Steve Jobs 👻🤖. “Uh-oh,” you think, “Is it my blood pressure or just my last TikTok dance??” 🔥 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We realized hypertension is a vibe... so why not give it to everyone? Just like my parents give me unsolicited life advice! 😂💀” And just when you thought Apple wasn’t squeezing YOUR wallet hard enough, they pull this stunt! 💸💔 Is it just me, or do these updates feel like they’re just here to pump up your medical bills instead of your heart rate? 👐 But fr fr, let’s talk about this: If Apple starts adding medical alerts, next thing you know, they'll be throwing in heart-to-heart talks with Siri and therapy sessions! 💬💔 🤜🤛 Hot Take: In 2025, Apple will create a watch that literally shames you into running by blasting your ex's voice saying “You can’t run away from your problems!” 🚀🍏💔 Share this chaos or risk missing out on the next big "ARE YOU OKAY?" notification! 💌✨