🚨✨ GEAR NEWS COMING IN HOT! 🚨✨ Hold onto your wallets because Apple just announced *drumroll please* the date for the next iPhone event! 🚀🍏 Get ready for more overpriced shiny rectangles that only come in 37 shades of grey! 💸💀 But WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Plaud is upgrading its AI note-taker—who knew AI could take notes better than 99% of us? 🤖📚📈 *“Just wait till our AI can also take your job,”* said some anonymous developer while sipping overpriced coffee. 😂☕️ Level’s sliding in with a low-key smart lock that says “I’m fancy but don’t want to be noticed.” Like, cool? Who needs a digital lock that looks like it’s hiding a dark secret? 🤫🔒 Chipolo is throwing rechargeable Bluetooth trackers onto the battlefield—because let’s be real, losing your keys is the real tech disaster of our time. 🔑😭 And Samsung is rolling out a budget tablet that’s about as exciting as a wet sponge. 🍞💤 (Drake’s like “What are you doing?” while pointing left to a good tablet). But wait, Nothing is getting roasted harder than a marshmallow at a campfire for using STOCK PHOTOS. 😱 This is fine, right? 😬🔥 *“I just wanted our product to look more relatable,”* said their marketing intern. And here’s my unhinged hot take: In 2024, Apple’s gonna release a fridge that integrates with your iPhone for updates about your expired milk. *Stonks!* 📈🧀🤯 Share this if you're ready to pretend you care about tech again! 😤💥