🚨🍏 **BREAKING: APPLE ABOUT TO DROP 6 NEW THINGS NOBODY ASKED FOR!** 🍏🚨 Hold on to your overpriced iPhone 14 cases, fam! 🤡💀 Dodging reality like a pro, Apple’s about to bless (or curse) us with six *new* products that nobody saw coming... or wanted. 😩✨ Rumor mill is spinning faster than Tim Cook on a treadmill, and here’s what’s on deck: M5 iPad Pro (because M4 wasn’t *cringe* enough), a MacBook Pro that might just come with a ‘no refunds’ policy, and yes... 🤖 the Vision Pro is back in our nightmares! 👻 Plus the AirTag 2 to help you track your *disappointment.* Imaginary Developer #1: “We just keep slapping ‘Pro’ on everything and charging extra. It’s a vibe.” Imaginary Developer #2: “But what if we added more color options? Like... pink!” 🤣💅 Stonks going up because Apple fanboys will eat this up without even chewing, fr fr. 👀💰 Meanwhile, we're all just here sipping our water and thinking: *This is fine.* 🔥 **Unhinged Prediction Alert:** Next week, Apple will reveal a “magical” product that’s literally just an empty box. Price? $999.99. That’s a *pro* move, right there! 😂💸 #AppleLeaks #Stonks #Cringe 😂💀