🚨 BREAKING: Code Metal’s Glow-Up 🚨 💰Listen up, nerds! Code Metal, the Bostonian David amongst Goliaths, just scored a whopping $36.5M Series A like it’s a TikTok dance challenge! 💀💃 Now they're worth a spicy $250M and you’re still sweating in a lowly office chair! 🤡 Dude, what do they even do? 🤔 Imagine if Google Translate was trying to help you break up with your ex but only made things more complicated. Yeah, they’re using AI to help code engineers speak “Fluent Programmer” in 27 languages! That's right folks, it'll turn your spaghetti code into lasagna... or maybe just a different kind of spaghetti? 🤷‍♂️ 💬 "I just wanted to write better code, not write a romantic novel in C++! No cap, I’m just out here tryna vibe!" - A totally real dev named Jason (who probably has a VPN for his own safety). But let’s be real: this is the tech equivalent of buying a ticket to a movie you’ve already seen… in 2015. 🙄🔥 Here's the unhinged part: I predict that in the near future, they’ll launch a dating app exclusively for code languages! “Our love is so electric, it just compiles!” 💘🚀 Share this hot mess before your coworkers try to outsmart AI too! 🤖💥 #Stonks #Cringe