🎧💔 **Bose SoundTouch Turns Into the Sound DUD!** 💔🎧 Okay, fam, let’s dish the tea ☕️💅: Bose just dropped a “hold my beer” level of cringe, announcing they’re about to STOMP on their SoundTouch speakers like Thanos on a Fortnite dance floor. 🚀💀 That's right, in the year 2026 (yes, you heard that right, that’s 3 years of *positivity* we’ll *never* get back), they’re pulling the plug on all those beloved cloud features. Y’all can say goodbye to multi-room party vibes and integration with Spotify—just wave goodbye like a sad Drake meme. 😢👉👈 In a totally *not* leaked convo, one Bose engineer said, “Honestly, we thought people wanted speakers that didn’t *actually* do anything. I mean… it’s a ‘minimalist’ approach, right?” and honestly, this dude’s about as galaxy brain as that guy who tried to use a potato for a lightbulb. 💡🥔 But wait—there’s more! Here’s a hot take: In 2028, Bose will pivot to making retro cassette players and charge us $500 for them. 🤡💰 Because who wouldn’t want to hit the pause button on progress, am I right?! Remember, kiddos, this is fine. 🔥🔥 Share this wild ride of a post with your audio-loving buds, and let’s collectively seethe over the fact that *STONKS* aren’t gonna buy us better sound systems anytime soon! 📈💩