🚨🎉 ALERT! THE BLINKENING IS UPON US! 💰🙀 🔥📈 Y’all, unless you wanna be giving up your hard-earned stonk bucks for a subscription you barely use, listen up! Blink just decided they wanna fill their piggy bank and is raising prices. Because those sweet, sweet features don’t pay for themselves, amirite? 🤡💸 🌌 **But wait! There’s hope!** If you act faster than a squirrel on espresso, you might lock in your current price for up to THREE YEARS! That’s longer than most relationships these days. 😅💔 Just imagine telling your friends: “Yeah, I’m committed... to my Blink subscription.” They’ll definitely be like Drake pointing and yelling “Based!” at you 😂🚀 👁️‍🗨️ And in typical “we care about you” fashion, Blink dropped TWO *new* features that we all asked for like it’s the last piece of pizza at a party—no one wanted it but here we are. “You can now track your monthly budget AND turn on night mode!” said some anonymous dev who’s probably bleeding from the eyes after endless Zoom calls. 😵‍💫 🔥 Here’s the hot take: Blink’s about to transform into another subscription monster like Netflix, with prices soaring like Elon’s ego after a tweet. 📈 So, act NOW or forever hold your peace… and your wallet. 💀💔 👇 **Final Prediction:** Blink will start offering a *premium* subscription to unlock your microwave’s Wi-Fi connection by next year. No cap, I’m calling it. 🥵🍕