Blackstone just dropped $750M on NetBrain like it's a new iPhone! π±πΈ Cringe or based? π€π₯ #BigMoneyMoves
π¨π¨π BREAKING NEWS: Blackstone *just* dropped π° $750 MILLION on NetBrain, and no, this isn't a new Netflix series, fam. π€‘π Weβre talking about the most *bored-out-of-their-minds* network automation company to exist since... well, ever! π₯± So, lemme break it down like this: Blackstone needs AI to make life easier, NetBrain is literally like that overpriced coffee machine at an office that just does *one thing* but makes you feel like a tech wizard. π©β¨ But honestly, $750M? Thatβs more than my life savings combined with my momβs *retirement fund*! πΈπΈπΈ "AI will transform our lives... or at least our operations," said some developer at NetBrain who probably just Googled βhow to sound smartβ before the call. ππ In other news, the stock market's like Drake in that "Hotline Bling" meme: rising up from last week, only to plummet later, because who can afford to invest in automation when you still have to pay rent? π ππ Hereβs my hot take: In 3 years, weβll have AI robots managing these deals while weβre chilling on Mars, sipping lattes made by a self-aware AI. ππ BLACKSTONE AND NETBRAIN: THE GLORY DAYS ARE NOW! π₯π₯π₯