🚨🚨🔊 BREAKING NEWS: Blackstone *just* dropped 💰 $750 MILLION on NetBrain, and no, this isn't a new Netflix series, fam. 🤡💀 We’re talking about the most *bored-out-of-their-minds* network automation company to exist since... well, ever! 🥱 So, lemme break it down like this: Blackstone needs AI to make life easier, NetBrain is literally like that overpriced coffee machine at an office that just does *one thing* but makes you feel like a tech wizard. 🎩✨ But honestly, $750M? That’s more than my life savings combined with my mom’s *retirement fund*! 💸💸💸 "AI will transform our lives... or at least our operations," said some developer at NetBrain who probably just Googled ‘how to sound smart’ before the call. 👀🚀 In other news, the stock market's like Drake in that "Hotline Bling" meme: rising up from last week, only to plummet later, because who can afford to invest in automation when you still have to pay rent? 🏠💀📉 Here’s my hot take: In 3 years, we’ll have AI robots managing these deals while we’re chilling on Mars, sipping lattes made by a self-aware AI. 🚀🌌 BLACKSTONE AND NETBRAIN: THE GLORY DAYS ARE NOW! 💥💥💥