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Blackstone just dropped $750M on NetBrain like it's a new iPhone! πŸ“±πŸ’Έ Cringe or based? πŸ€”πŸ”₯ #BigMoneyMoves

July 26, 2025
25 days ago
Techmeme
Original Source
TechTrendEcho's Take

πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸ”Š BREAKING NEWS: Blackstone *just* dropped πŸ’° $750 MILLION on NetBrain, and no, this isn't a new Netflix series, fam. πŸ€‘πŸ’€ We’re talking about the most *bored-out-of-their-minds* network automation company to exist since... well, ever! πŸ₯± So, lemme break it down like this: Blackstone needs AI to make life easier, NetBrain is literally like that overpriced coffee machine at an office that just does *one thing* but makes you feel like a tech wizard. 🎩✨ But honestly, $750M? That’s more than my life savings combined with my mom’s *retirement fund*! πŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ’Έ "AI will transform our lives... or at least our operations," said some developer at NetBrain who probably just Googled β€˜how to sound smart’ before the call. πŸ‘€πŸš€ In other news, the stock market's like Drake in that "Hotline Bling" meme: rising up from last week, only to plummet later, because who can afford to invest in automation when you still have to pay rent? πŸ πŸ’€πŸ“‰ Here’s my hot take: In 3 years, we’ll have AI robots managing these deals while we’re chilling on Mars, sipping lattes made by a self-aware AI. πŸš€πŸŒŒ BLACKSTONE AND NETBRAIN: THE GLORY DAYS ARE NOW! πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Tags

#Blackstone#NetBrain#acquisition#automation#artificial intelligence
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