📈🤔 *BREAKING NEWS: CORPORATE MONSTERS MAKE MORE MOVES! 😱💀* Hold onto your hats, fam, because Blackstone just pulled another “hold my beer” moment! 🍻👇 They’re snagging Vista Equity Partners' minority stake in the event software company Cvent for a meager $1.3B! Yeah, you heard that right! 💰💰 That’s like buying a used car for the price of a fancy coffee — the kind with a hundred-dollar name! ☕🚗💸 *This is fine* 🔥🤣 Remember when Blackstone bought Cvent for a whopping $4.6B earlier this year? Yeah, well, I guess they decided to spice up their portfolio like a toddler with a box of crayons ✏️🎨. *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Man, I thought Cvent was just an app for booking boring conferences. Turns out it’s just a playground for billionaires to flex on each other! No cap.” 🤖💔 And can we talk about how this whole thing feels like a twisted episode of *Cribs*, but instead of showing cool houses, it's just... spreadsheets and PowerPoints? 🤦‍♂️ *Drake pointing* at investment decisions like “bruh, not like this.” 🥴 🔮 Unhinged Prediction: *Get ready, because by 2025, Blackstone will be selling event swag like it's the next Supreme drop. Limited edition conference swag? STONKS! 🚀*