🚨🪙 BREAKING NEWS: Bitcoin's taking the throne again!!! 👑✨ In a plot twist no one saw coming (except all the crypto wizards in their mom's basements), Bitcoin now owns a whopping 64% of the crypto market value. That’s the highest it’s been since January 2021, which feels like a decade in dog years. 🐶💩💰 Altcoins? More like *alt-GONE* as they collectively lost a staggering $300B. That’s like throwing a yacht party and watching your guests drown in the kiddie pool. 💀💸 “Investors are buying BTC ETFs,” said some anonymous dude at Bloomberg (probably wearing socks with sandals, no cap). 🚀🤌 Meanwhile, altcoins looking like that one kid who got left behind at recess. "Hey, we added new features!" 🤡😂 Yeah, buddy, but we all just upgraded to Bitcoin 2.0 and you're still stuck in 2018. This is fine. 🔥😅 So what’s next? Brace yourselves: I'm predicting next summer, Bitcoin will literally draft a bill to run for President. 🚨 “More coins = more problems” will be the national motto. Stonks will be flying 🚀, and altcoins might have to apply for food stamps. Y'all better hold on tight for that chaotic ride! 🚩😫💥 Share this if you’re ready for the crypto apocalypse!