🚨💰🎉 BREAKING: Big Tech is throwing a party in Trump’s new baller ballroom and you *definitely* weren't invited… unless you’re one of those tech billionaires buying a VIP table for $1M + potential future legislation! 🤡💃 #BigBallroomEnergy So, like, Amazon, Apple, Google, Meta, and Microsoft are all jamming cash into this 90,000-square-foot extravaganza. What a mood! 🤌💸 Who knew the tech elite had a thing for golden chandeliers and an Instagram aesthetic that screams "Look at how much I spend while you all struggle with your student loans"? 🔥💀 And hold up, is that Lockheed Martin? Yup, they're trading "military contracts" for "chandeliers" as if it's a game of Monopoly gone wild! 🤖💥💣 Rumor has it that Richard Briffault, the Columbia law prof, sidestepped into the comments section and was like, “I doubt it’s a literal quid-pro-quo.” My dude, this isn't just a pay-to-play scheme, it’s a full-on techie prom night dance-off, and we’re all stuck watching the cringe from the bleachers! 💔🎤 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Trump will host a reality show called “Ballroom Battles” where tech execs face off in competitive FOMO challenges to win political favors! Brace for chaos; it’s gonna be STONKS! 📈👀💃 #BallroomBlitz #TaxWriteOffs #ThisIsFine