**BREAKING: Apple JUST Decided to Sell Tech at Mortal Kombat Prices! 🥴🍏🔥** Hold your 🍎 juice, fam! Apple just dropped some DEGENERATE deals that have me questioning life choices harder than that last TikTok dance challenge! 🤡💀 First off, we’re talking a *whopping* $300 OFF the 24GB MacBook Pro 🤯💸! That's the kind of discount that makes your wallet scream "STONKS!" like it just invested in Dogecoin in 2021! 🚀💰 And if you’re vibing more with the MacBook Air, a 32GB monster is now $200 cheaper! Bro, my pocket is still trying to cope. And don’t sleep on the iPhone 15 Pro, which is like finding a $430 bill in your jacket from LAST CHRISTMAS – just *BAGGED* it at Amazon Renewed! 😱 That’s more savings than I got when I cut off my streaming service during the last Netflix price hike. Can we get an F in the chat? 😂 💡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “I told Tim Cook he’s got 99 problems but pricing ain’t one!” – 🤖 Bob from R&D, right before he sold his soul for a discounted charger. Honestly, I predict that by 2025, Apple will be giving away iPhones with *every* latte purchase like it’s Starbucks. ☕️✨ Now go forth and spend responsibly! 🤪💀 #AppleGluttony #TakeMyMoney