🔥🎉 **BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Apple is Actually Discounting Stuff** 🤖💰 Hold onto your overpriced AirPods, fam—Apple just threw a sale so big you’d think they were trying to bribe us for our love or something! 😱💸 That’s right, while you were busy scrolling through TikTok for the 8th hour (no judgment!) 🍕, Apple dropped a juicy discount on the *glorious* 24GB M4 MacBook Pro and M4 Max Mac Studio—both for a heart-thumping $300 off! 💥 But wait, there’s more! The M3 iPad Air is basically marked down to “please someone buy me” levels, while the M4 MacBook Air and the iPad mini 7 are just sitting there, waiting for you to rescue them like a sad puppy in a shelter. 🐶💔 📉 In a shocking turn of events (not really), an anonymous Apple dev was overheard saying, “Honestly, we just want folks to move these laptops so we can make room for the *next* overpriced innovation.” 😂💀 Drake’s saying “No, not the Air” while you’re out here trying to cop that shiny new tech. 👀🔥 Here's the tea: if you ain't hitting “checkout” faster than Elon Musk trolls Twitter, you’re just a cog in the Apple wheel. 🤪🤡 💥 Unhinged prediction: In 2024, Apple will announce the iPhone 30 but it will ONLY be available in limited-edition gold-plated hues, and you’ll have to sell a kidney to afford it. 🦴🚀 #StonksForever