🎉🚨BREAKING: NINTENDO DIRECT IS UPON US! 🚨🎉 Forget Apple’s shiny new gizmos, fam! 🍏👎 It’s time for THAT ONE GUY with the Mario hat to show us what the Switch 2 can do! 💥🍄 Mark your calendars like it’s the second coming of Bowser: Friday, Sept. 12 at 6am PT/9am ET! ⏰ In a classic move, Nintendo is keeping it more secretive than the CIA's pizza order 🍕🕵️‍♂️. 60 minutes of pure adrenaline, leaks, and chaos are on the horizon. Will it be new Zelda DLC? Mario Party 73: Electric Boogaloo? Or just more Amiibo figures that nobody knows how to display? 🤡💀 🤖 “I heard they’re finally giving us a Pet Rock simulator,” said a totally legit *inside source* (Definitely not my neighbor Dave in a Sonic onesie). 😂 And peep this—if they drop an announcement for Metroid Prime 5, we’re all buckling up for a meltdown as epic as the meme of Drake pointing at his old Switch! 🔥🔥 Get ready, no cap: if this Direct doesn't drop fire, I’m declaring Nintendo's HQ a “this is fine” meme zone. 🔥🤙 💭 **Hot Take**: The new Nintendo Switch 2 will literally come with a time machine. Why? Because their online service is so bad that they need to go back to 2006 just to get decent Wi-Fi. 😤🚀 Stonks, right? 🚀💰