🚨BREAKING: Bevel just bagged a whopping 💰$10 MILLION in Series A from General Catalyst! No cap, I didn’t know AI health companions were the new crypto but here we are! 💀💀 So, apparently, this AI sidekick 🦾 is all about collecting your chaotic lifestyle data – you know, from your comfy 14-hour Netflix binges to those 3 AM snack runs 🍕😴. The goal? To turn your questionable life choices into “personalized insights” (a.k.a. “Stop eating pizza at 3 AM, you savage!”) 😂🤡 👀 “Whoa, did someone say ‘data unity’??” Sounds like an intro to a cringe tech cult where we all worship at the altar of wearable gadgets. “AI, send me a notification, please remind me I’m not as fit as I thought,” said no one ever. 💔 “Bro, I’d rather trust a Magic 8-Ball with my health info than an AI,” said a totally real developer who definitely didn’t just chug 3 energy drinks to code this thing. 🌌🙌 But STONKS are up, my friends, and by the end of 2023, EVERYONE will have an AI buddy to shame them into doing squats while they scroll TikTok. 🚀🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Soon, your AI will start judging your pizza choices based on your sleep data & may even launch a “NO PIZZA” app. Get ready for THE GREAT PIZZA BANS of 2024!!! 🍕👀💥 #ChatGPTbutHealthy