💥🔌 **BREAKING NEWS: Belkin’s $80 Hand-Hugger Power Bank is HERE and it’s ready to ruin your wallet and your selfies!** 📸🤡💸 *This just in from the tech dungeon: Belkin unleashed their Stage PowerGrip, and bruh, it’s like giving your phone a wet noodle handshake for $79.99! 🤦‍♂️ What a steal… if you have *more* money than sense!* Imagine this: You're out here trying to take fire selfies, but your phone's like, "Nah fam, you're holding me like a pancake." 🥞😱 *Enter the PowerGrip: the device that says, “I wanna be a DSLR but only on a budget!”* 🔥💀 **Developer quote, leaked from the Crying Room:** “We wanted to make smartphone photography feel like holding a real camera... but on a budget that makes you weep.” 😭💔 And no cap, when you're done capturing those *always-perfect* TikTok shots, just charge that baby (up to 9,300mAh!!!) while saying "Stonks!" as you waste your life savings on this awkward grip. 📈😂 But wait, it gets worse! Apple has a similar gizmo (SnapGrip Pro) for $90! 🤯 This battle of overpriced phone accessories has the drama of a reality show. *ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?* 🎭🔥 **Unhinged prediction:** By 2026, you'll be holding a $200 phone grip with a built-in *motivational speaker* that tells you, “You’ve got this!” while draining every ounce of your will to live. 🤖💔💥 #GripItAndQuitIt